Tuesday, April 28, 2015

#lose15in2015 --> drop 30 by 30?

It's been a minute since my last post!

1) MARCH: A week-long trip to Paris, a few days after my 28th birthday
Can you even?
2) APRIL: A weekend trip to Atlanta with my sister to visit our grandma
The salsa and guac sampler from Alma Cocina in ATL

*A weekend trip to Phoenix to visit one of my best friends
At The Original Taste, Scottsdale Waterfront
*Awesome Saturday event for City Surf where 4 of my friends and I nailed it and secured 4th place in a sand volleyball tournament. I got a tan, but worse, I also got sunburned, badly. You win some, you lose some.
Nailed it
Just three years ago, I scared myself into losing 25 lbs for someone else's wedding (the friend who I visited in Phoenix).

Since then, I haven't found something equally as terrifying, so I just seem to continue to gain weight in all the wrong places.

I'm going on 5 weeks with a personal trainer (who I LOVE, my favorite trainer at City Surf), and 5 weeks (with a few days slightly off of it due to vacation or general YOLO stuff) on a strict #macros diet.

What does this look like?
I have to hit the following numbers every day:
1,763 calories
153 g protein
150 g carbs
61 g fat

I can be +/- 3 g every day on protein, carbs, and fat, and I have to get as close as possible to the calorie count every day.

Some days, I'm right on with every number, and other days, I'm 20g under on carbs, or 60 calories short of goal. It's a math equation that takes lots of manipulating on myfitnesspal, so I pretty much just eat the same damn thing every day, since I know eating that will help me hit my numbers.

But, I still hate the way I look in dresses, and don't have a dress for a wedding that's on Saturday. PANIC IS SETTING IN. I could just wear a dress I wore to a wedding last year when I thought I looked horrible, which pushed me to start taking classes at City Surf (we all know how that turned out, so I'm THANKFUL for that), but the whole issue of being a dress size or two bigger than I'd like to be is just making me more and more frustrated.
Pre-City Surf. I may just have to wear this again.

TOO MUCH CARDIO, and the inability to say NO has probably put me in this place.
As of today, I teach SEVEN spin classes a week, and I'm finally working in weights with my 2x/wk sessions with my personal trainer.

But still, some cardio has got to go.

So, I finally got the balls to stand up for myself and just told my weekend spin gig that as of June 1, I'm done. I'll sub here and there, when needed, but other than that, I'm done.

I need weekends.
I need my life back.
I need REST.
I need to be able to say fuck it when I wake up on a Saturday and leisurely make my way to the gym to lift instead of hitting the bike for 50 minutes of spinning that are just packing on the fat.

Every article I read tells me how bad cardio (too much of it) is, and how it's releasing a stress hormone, cortisol, that is telling my body to hold on to the fat. Cortisol also goes wild when you don't get enough sleep, and my teaching schedule with waking up at 545A 3x/week and not getting home for dinner until 8P or later 3x/wk is also contributing to this problem.

Well, enough of that.

I'm looking forward to June and beyond and hope to be able to eventually peel away a few more of my teaching commitments so I can chip away more of this fat.

It's got to go.

I keep going up and down on the scale, and I want to kick it every time I get on and see a number that's not cool.

I still have about 10-15-20 lbs to lose. Who knows at this point, but all I know is that I need to get out of the 150 range to not fear what I see in the mirror on the daily.

We're not there yet, but we're getting there.

Here's to changes and less cardio in the last half of 2015, and to hopefully being 30 lbs less (that's a stretch, but I love stupid hashtags, so this will be one) by the time I'm 30.

In frustration and determination, and at 153/154 disgusting pounds,

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